Best Times^^

You will never know..when is the best times because you might face alot of best times or maybe you have face it but you didn't realised it until someone told you and u felt it. That kinda feeling is so beautiful and its really unexpected. When you thought you cannot see him again due to lots of things happening around both of you or there is a great challenge between both of you that stop you and him to meet or even to feel the love again..which is impossible for you to want to bring back the old times...You and him struggle to gain again the love that is going to be unseen...its not that is fading or gone...its just unseen for there are so many things coming tru both of you that you don't want to get hurt or shall I say you don't want to hurt both feelings. These things will stop you and him to even share about it and makes both you and him to be less communicate. After this you will see one of you will be thinking negatively but the other has a postitive sight of view. You cannot blame yourself or even stop that feeling but you got to learn to control it. It is really hard but what i am facing is actually not as hard as what he is facing. I finnally understand all the hot and cold he is treating me. Not only that..i begin to learn from all that he has done to me. He is hurting himself too actually...for me to feel his pain is really hurting..all the coldness he felt..makes me cold..but if i think positively..its not cold..its more to realising and changing...sometimes you just don't want to change cos you are afraid of changes but sometimes changes are good...not only for you alone but so for others. I know..the main point he wants me to change is not just about growing up or being mature...its more to being unpampered so much til you lost yourself or you can say its for the future..cos he wants me to bring this feeling, this thinking til the day we will meet our future. He wants me to stay that way so that i will be strong to face everything by myself when he cannot be there for me..i know not everyone can be there for each other..and when he said i'm talking rubbish..is not that he don't want to hear them..or even insult the things i said..its just that he don't wan to know to hurt himself or me either..he rather wants to be alone in his deep sleep where he can just forget all his stress and all the things that is bad that is going tru between us. Its not about avoiding..its about whats good for both of us...He don't show...he don't say...how he really felt for me or even wat he thinks..cos he is so sure that i have alot of faith in him that i don't need all that...but he knows when n what i really need when the time comes...he don't want to lose everything...in his eyes its only me all the while..even whatever reasons he gave...eventually not realising it..its stil comes back to me me me...Its not about blaming..its about treasuring and sacrificing your love to the person you love most by not hurting her a single bit...even the tears that i cry..might not as hurting and as painful as the ones that he don't want to tell me...
I was silly all the while not knowing how much it all meant to him...and even thinks that he has changed...he chose not to meet me often just because he don't want to miss me so much...til he cannot study..the feeling he kept inside that he don't want to show is to control his feelings for me..Somtimes i really wish he can just don't control it..but i know if he don't do so..he might cannot study well... I don't want him to do that way too...i really want him to success...I will be waiting...Last night we met in Mid Valley..i got a shock when he touch my back while i was eating..he gave me a big surprise by bumping to me like that..but i was so happy...we haven't meet for about 1 or 2 months and i'm missing him. When i met him yesterday..i really don't feel like doing much in the mall..all i want is to just look at him...hug him and kiss him...but of course it didn't really turn out that way haha...he hold my hand tight...he brings me around...thought we might get to watch GOLD CLASS ticket that day but its too late cos i might not get to catch up the train later to go back to my grandma's house...he follow me to Kepong and go back to Subang by himself..i was touch...not only cos all the things he has done for me..but also...the way i know how much he missed me...i didn't really notice it..til my sister told me that she can see how much he misses me...I am really happy...not much can be talked but i don't really need that...to hold his hands to be in his arms that matters to me by then..that is all i really need that time...
I cannot remember when was the David Archeleta's mini concert..but i remember it was the best time i ever had...cos even i had a bad day that day it still touches my heart alot...1st he actually don't wanna go there...but cos me at last he do come with me...2nd my heels broke..and i don't have any shoes to wear..thought il just walk without any shoes but he gave me his shoes and he walk all the way from Sunway to Submit without any shoes...gosh his foot must have hurts alot..then he got to lend a pair of shoes from the temple...he cannot wear it cos its too small so i we exchange..got ourselves dinner then head to Giant to get a pair of new slippers for me before we go back to his house for some rest then i head home...Wow that was like OMG...even that day i enjoy my best japanese food there in Sunway...at the Sakae Sushi..i take a few pics there...hehe..i was so happy..really happy^^ This are some few pics...enjoy guys^^













































This is me and him in the restaurant...hehe some i took without his notice...haha
Wanna see some david's pictures?^^ Here~ i Hope is clear hehe..

-Port Dickson Trip-

Lying here…feeling the wind blowing so strong that I could feel it wll rain soon at this place…the sea..the moon…the beautiful stars..i can see it from here and also the strong wave that have been hitting on the ground over and over again non-stop. I wish I could be here forever…its like a never ending night that full with calm and lots of relaxation. I am here in PD now with my family. Surprisingly I have been finding each and everywhere to get a good connection but failed. So I have to type all this up in my microsoft word before uploaded it to my blog by tomorrow. I wish my bf was here with me to enjoy this moment and this view but too bad he had to work and he don’t have much money to come and enjoy this with me now. Maybe next time we may have the chance to spend this kind of moment together here like this without any stress and just u and me…

This kind of feeling now is so peaceful and quiet… I don’t know when it will end but maybe if I am lucky I may get to see the sun rise in the morning for the first time ^^ The wind is still so blowing strong and its like it would not stop. Listening to the strong wave and listening to my songs its just so nice and relaxing. I cannot help it but to think of this moment only. I was thinking how nice if I could sleep here until I wake up in the morning to see the sunrise too. It must be the best moment in my life to experience this. There was a few houses there on the sea where they specially build their home there to get a nearer view on the sea and the best they even got their own private boat with bridge nearby to get into it. It looks fun, that I wish I will have this kind of house next time in the future. The house was specially built on the sea and link to a nearby apartment that is a hotel too where u can rent a boat there to have a ride on it. Its really beautiful not because of the house but because of its built that way and you can really feel that u wanted to swim from there to the shore. Its not easy as it seems but I can see that its fun living there where u can see the roads to the nearby hotel. The place I lived is called The Regency Hotel and its an apartment where you have 2 rooms and 2 bathrooms. I love the swimming pool the most because its link to the beach. You can simply ran over the beach and enjoy your swim there or either way to the swimming pool only. Then from my apartment’s balcony I can see the lovely beach and the roads at night seem more beautiful then the day because of the car lights on the street. My room has 2 beds, even thou its small but its kind of nice to sleep. Its still comfortable to be, better than the last time we came here to stay in a hotel that have their own waterpark. Its nice for kids only but this its nice for both kids and adults. You even can enjoy alcoholic drinks here in a café nearby the beach. It’s a wow cos you can feel the sea breeze while enjoying your meal or drinks here. You even can enjoy chatting with your friends or family here and look at the beach views with lovely coconut trees everywhere. Dear how I wish u were here with me…I really miss u so much. I wish I can see you right now and enjoying this moment with me. Not only that, I really want to hug u so much but I know I cannot. I will because of you to bare all that is happening now in our life and I know we both can make it. I really hope that whatever is happening now to us will end soon so that we both can really be together, showed to your mum and let her accept that I am your gf. Maybe all I hope is for her to willing to let you to have this relationship with me now. I know its not that she don’t like me or what so ever and I am very clear that she do this cos u need to study. She was just so worry about your future and I know about that. I really do hope I can bare with all this cos this is what you need me to do right? I wish I am strong enough to not meeting you long enough and I hope if there’s any chance I will get to meet you. These days of your holidays, I am happy enough that we get to spend most of the time together and get a lot of bitter sweet memories that I won’t forget. Its so sweet that even to think about it would make me smile ^^

I wonder how you doing there now…are u hungry? Do you take care of yourself well? Do you think about me as often as I am? Do you have any hard times on your work? Dear please eat well and be well all the time cos I really don’t want you to fall sick soon when I am not there to see you. I know you are a big man, you can take care of yourself but still I want to remind you. Maybe I sound like a little noisy to you but I hope you can bare with me. I feel sleepy now but I cannot sleep because my parents and others will not get into the house without the key since the key is with me. I am so bored too..wish I could online now but I cannot…now I know why and how come those book arthurs get lots of idea. Now I can feel like I am myself as an authur…lolx. Its great to feel that way at least now I know where to get inspirations most of the time. At least to write it, you got to have this kind of place to write well haha. I am tired now…I think I will stop here..sleeping time^^